Occupy the space in this body you were given. its your place. only yours.

Day 7?

Well, life happens sometimes. I went to work only expecting to work 8 hrs, but the opportunity to work some overtime came, I worked 10 instead and didn't get out until 7pm. At that point I made an executive decision. I didn't want to spend the little time that was left of this day in the kitchen. (awesomely enough i had various meals to pick from the freezer from all the night I had cooked before :)

So I rested, watched the travel channel, and listened to my body...gave it what it needed, rest. How can doing anything otherwise really be all that healthy anyway?

Day 8!
didnt follow any fancy recipes today but mostly wanted to use the vegetables already had in my fridge, and fish in my freezer. - carrots, celery, mushrooms, snap peas, cabbage, threw it all in a pan and sauteed with some garlic, jalapeno, ground fish, salt and chinese 5 spice. really good stuff! (oh yea a little bit of soy sauce)

Im reading a book called "WOMEN, FOOD & GOD" by Geneen Roth. Yes I cooked something new, but what I really want to share is this: (from her book, slightly paraphrased)

"Lack of acceptance and unhappiness are synonymous. Its called the "WHEN I GET THIN (change jobs, move, find a relationship, leave this relationship, have money) BLUES" Its called the "if only" refrain. Its called POSTPONING YOUR LIFE and your ability to be happy to a future date when then, oh then, you will finally get what you want and life will be good. In my books Ive written stories about peoplewho lost weight and were still miserable. Who got what they thought they wanted most and found that joy still eluded them. Because MISERABLE AND HAPPY ARE NOT FUNCTIONS OF WHAT YOU HAVE, WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE OR WHAT YOU ACHIEVE.

I have been miserable anywhere, with anything, with anyone. Ive been miserable standing in a field of a thousand sun flowers in southern france in mid-june. Ive been miserable weighing 80 pounds and wearing a size 0.And Ive been happy wearing a size 18. Happy sitting with my dying father. Happy being a switch board operator.

Its NOT ABOUT WEIGHT. its NOT ABOUT THE GOAL. its not about being thin or being someone special or getting there. Those are all fantasies in your mind, and they are all in the future, the future that never comes.

WHAT IF?

What if this is exactly what you are supposed to be doing because it is what you are doing? WHAT IF EACH NITTY GRITTY task is perfection itself and you keep missing it because you're looking for something else?

Its like washing the dishes. if you focus on getting the dishes done so that your kitchen will be clean, you miss everything that happens between dirty and clean. The warmth of the water, the pop of the bubbles, the movements of your hand. YOU MISS LIFE. -that happens in the middle zone- between NOW and what you think your life should be.

You might as well learn to pay attention NOW. to {fully} inhabit the life you've chosen. to TAKE UP EVERY INCH OF YOUR SKIN. Occupy the space in this body you were given.

its your place.
only yours.

You already have everything you need"