Had to talk myself through this one! ....and talk to others...

Patience with myself. And reaching out.
Two things I've had to learn to do.
still learning...........
Because I'm not a superhero[ine]! I'm human.
and because...Yes Brenda...sometimes you just cant do it alone.

Saturday morning I get a phone call.
Its a women who runs a segment on channel 3 on successful weight loss stories.
She wants me to be on her segment.

...............me on tv?
Telling my story?
wow. my mind got instantly busy.
..to talk about the thing in my life that has been the greatest struggle?
to expose myself. my greatest vulnerability.

Then I thought. Why should I tell my story as a success when lately I have been feeling..... defeated.

But I caught myself.
Its not about perfection.
Its about progress.
they arent looking for a perfect model who has no issues with food or body image.
(good cuz thats not me)
They are looking for a real story. to help inspire others to show they can transform their lives.
ok that i can do.
I'm not perfect.
I no longer want to be.
But I AM healthier. and I AM stronger.... in EVERY way.

And if this is an opportunity has came up without me looking for it. It must be for a reason. And I am not going to push it away because of FEAR.

.....So she gives me the details. The interview time. the location and directions to the studio.
I jot it down.
She says Brenda You are going to do great! I know you are.
...I was still kinda talking myself into feeling the same way...
I said to her,
This is scary. But I'm gonna do it anyway.
Thank you for the opportunity.

I'm still processing this.........
lots of emotion around it.
but ive decided to take the pressure off of being what I might think is expected.
To say, to look like, to sound like.
Just gonna go on there and be me ...share whats been of my journey so far.
With honesty.
I'll prolly be scared as fuck when I'm sitting in the studio.
But I do believe that everything happens for a reason.