Progress not Perfection "The Interview"

A bit about MY Journey.

I know what its like to be so ashamed of my body, so uncomfortable in my own skin, that in the HOT Arizona summers growing up I wore a huge thick sweater out in the sun (heat in the 120's!) Enduring the feeling of suffocation was all worth it, as long as people didn't see ME. My BODY.

For as far back as I remember I felt like I needed to fix my body, it was always UNACCEPTABLE.

Yes, at one point, I really was overweight, I remember having difficulty breathing just to bend down and put on my shoes.... having to take breaks! Around this time was when I realized things needed to change. It was time to take care of myself. My first successful weight loss consisted of diet shakes. Every three hours, all day, everyday. I lost weight, but sure enough once I couldn't do it any longer (who can live on shakes forever!?!) most of the weight came back on. That was my story for years. WORK HARD. lose weight. gain it back ...sometimes more.

FINALLY I learned the concept of simply making healthier food choices and staying active, learning effective exercises, and maintaining my weight for a couple of years. Unfortunately, fit and healthy was not enough for me. Without realizing it, my strive to become healthier and take care of myself became an obsession with perfection. Having the perfect body, fitting into a certain size, reaching a certain number on the scale. Once again, I WAS ASHAMED. Once again, UNACCEPTABLE. So full of fear to regain the weight I had lost, that I was afraid to LIVE. Afraid to EAT. Every meal became just a number of calories, grams of carbohydrates. My diet and exercise regimen so rigid it controlled my life. These challenging times were a blessing in disguise, forcing me to once again, CHOOSE to take care of ME. Because this was no longer discipline, It was punishment! Overweight, under weight, it didn't matter...I LET WEIGHT DEFINE ME.
IT DOESN'T.

There is so much emphasis in our society to be SKINNY....underweight even. idealistic. unrealistic. unhealthy. rigid standards of "beauty". Constantly promoting a literally "sickening" obsession with food and negative body image.

Today its time to shift focus towards being HEALTHY and HAPPY. To promote Life, nourishment, self-LOVE and self-acceptance!

I attained my masters in occupational therapy at USC because I wanted to make a difference in the lives of individuals with disabilities, to help them reach their potential and live meaningful , fulfilling lives. Not too long after graduating, I came to realize that a person's inability to LOVE, accept and care for their WHOLE BEING {body and soul} is just as disabling.

I'm not perfect, and no longer care to be! (OVER-rated! ;) ONE DAY AT A TIME STILL RINGS TRUE EACH DAY. Each day I must remind myself to LOVE and respect myself and do things only for those reasons. Each day, I still must remind myself that ONE DAY AT A TIME I CAN OVERCOME ANYTHING.
So can you.

Each of us DESERVE (and have the right!) to live our lives FULLY EACH DAY regardless of weight, of size... of anything!

Today, my greatest struggle has become my greatest blessing, leading me to DISCOVER MY PASSION. To share what I've lived and learned, to do what I can to help empower others to LIVE BEAUTIfull.

"We begin to find and become ourselves when we notice how we are already found, already truly, entirely, wildly, messily, marvelously who we were born to be". — Anne Lamott