Give your Dreams wings!

Early in the morning, late at night, throughout the day....i have dreams. There are those dreams I talk about, the acceptable, the expected. Like going to college. Then there are dreams I only share with a special few, the few I trust wont judge me, the few I trust to hold my dreams in their hands...as if they were some precious fragile thing. easily breakable.shattered. Then there are those dreams I dont even tell myself. The ideas that pass through my mind, which I politely ignore. contain. suppress. make excuses. tell myself...tomorrow, not today. The ones my heart whispers, I pretend not to hear.

Today was an unexpected and subtly amazing day. My friend Melinda (wonderful artist/jewelry maker) invited me to a total mind, body, beauty makeover event and I went. It was an expo of different vendors.
Little did they know, little did I know,the women present would open my eyes.
Help me spread my wings.

Gather courage to take that step off the ground...& take that unpredictable but fulfilling journey.

The first lady I spoke to was in her 70's. An African American, 70 year-old, divorced women, who had written a book called: "70 is the new 40". There she sat in a stool behind her display of books. As I approached her, she stood with grace and pride, a beautiful, beautiful, strong feminine presence, her voice gentle & soft, yet the words extremely powerful.

I asked her to tell me about her book. She explained that the book was about women aging with grace and joy, following their heart's dreams at any age. She suddenly stops as I listen with a smile, leans over the table closer to me, looks down through her glasses and says to me "listen Honey, there is NO reason, not to do what you want, at ANY age. and dont ever let anything, especially not anything on two legs, have you believe otherwise".

WOW. Here I am, 27 years old, my entire life ahead of me...I have SO MANY IDEAS. DREAMS. To write a book. start a business. I AM FILLED WITH INSPIRATION. BUT I get scared. overwhelmed. preoccupied.

I let FEAR hold my dreams captive.
hostage.
only faith and courage will set them free.

Scared of what? That I will fail? To be dissapointed? sometimes...most of the time, i dont even know!

I think we are afraid to give our dreams wings
Because in order to fly
I must take that first step
off the ground.

TO FLY
I must leave safety.
Security.
Stability.

To fly is to take a risk.

But ....I must remember that
taking the risk to LIVE, is ALWAYS one worth taking.

The contrary
is to live dying,
for NOT fully living.

After my conversation with her I continued on exploring.

-There was a women who sold individually blended foundations....like the Coldstone of make up. An art. She wold mix and blend the colors on a crystal tile until creating the perfect match.

-A women who made custom bathing suits. Her motto being that a suit should FIT THE WOMEN, and NOT the women try to fit the suit... conforming HERSELF to an object. The Fabric, patterns, cut, design, everything, personalized to hug and highlight each women's curves. her one of a kind figure.

-Another women did astrological readings. She sat with me. PRESENT. intimate. human connection. Through her unique abilities and experiences providing me with insight and perspectives, a new (and helpful) perspective.

-Another inspirational women (My friend Melinda :) was displaying and selling her Beautiful, unlike any other, collection of jewelry made of keys, chains, parts of hoses, and other random hardware parts. Her unique ability to see and create BEAUTY out of the ordinary. the disposable. the disposed. Truly a product of her imagination, but more importantly, of her WILLINGNESS TO FOLLOW A DREAM.

To nourish an idea, allowing it to blossom. OPEN to what it may become as it grows, unfolds, unravels.

In each of these women, was one day born a dream.

-At the age of 70, I imagine it would be easier, simpler, to ignore the idea of writing a book than to pursue it.
-Sit with people and read their energy????
-Compete with Mac? Sephora?
-Sell jewelry made out of junk???

yeah.... im sure these could have been doubted.
brushed off.
But they were NOT, and the work these women warriors do is DRIVEN BY PASSION, an internal fire.
The work they do, carries that passion in it,
its contagious.
DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

Presented with a dream.....will I question it? question myself? Sit and think of all the reasons it wouldnt work? the way it might fail? ways I might be dissapointed?

OR

given a dream .....will I embrace it with faith? live it out with passion? Driven by the JOY of doing something I LOVE...detach myself from the outcome.... simply doing it, because it honors my soul's true desire.
Share a gift I have been given.

I wanted to buy her book SOOOO bad, but I had no cash :(

She leans over again from behind the table, tilts her chin down to look at me through her glasses and says "I want you to have it". just go online and pay me later. People dont do this sort of thing much.....trust one another. But the thing is, she wasnt worried about making money, she was worried about spreading the message she had originally felt the ache to spread. the undeniable yearning that drove her to write the book.
She trusted herself, and that was all it took to trust me.
Trust me. Believe me. Without a doubt, Put faith in me.

The time is NOW (tomorrow may never come..)for ME
to trust ME.
believe in ME.
Without a doubt,
have FAITH.

'It takes a giant leap of FAITH
to discover
YOU CAN FLY'

Whatever my(your)DREAMS may be,
however outrageous, however strange, however unconventional, however intimidating
however BEAUTIFUL
however {seemingly} FRAGILE

GIVE YOUR DREAMS WINGS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One Tiny butterfly
shows what it means
to have enduring courage
and dignity,
so that even when the wind
takes it in an unknown direction,
it flies,
staying strong, staying brave.

One tiny butterfly
Lifts itself up
with THE LIGHT
DEEP INSIDE ITS SOUL,
rising on wings of HOPE.
for a safe and renewing journey...

You're like that butterfly,
brave and beautiful.
I know your courageous spirit
will carry you through this
just like it has carried you
so many times before.

The Photo

Doing a photo shoot today! my first!

So I've shared personal things bout my struggle with weight because I find its empowering, not only for myself, but those around me. So shit, here it is.

BEAUTIFUL THING IS.......

I remember having been at a point where the doctor was actually concerned about my weight, and at that time having been asked if I modeled? or, if would be interested in modeling? First thought in my mind {disbelief} ARE YOU serious? "Maybe if I was skinnier!!!

... because truly it wasn't about the weight..it was about seeing the value in myself, EMBRACING ME. truly. honestly. COMPLETELY.

Anyway TODAY I'm def not at my thinnest. BUT I'M HEALTHIER. STRONGER. (Strongest I've EVER been actually! In every sense of the word) SEXIER & MORE CONFIDENT (in my own skin!)

TODAY I AM ALIVE.

Soo I'm gonna do this photo shoot, not so much as a way of saying FUCK YOU to the media & our society which tries to put women in a box, form us to a certain "mold" and shame us when we don't exactly, "fit it"...ok, maybe a lil for that ;) ...BUT I'm doing it out of: LOVE (for myself & the beautiful {DIVERSE} women around me)... GRATITUDE & respect for LIFE....and to make a statement (if even only to myself) that YES, BEAUTIFUL comes in all shapes & sizes, it IS NOT SIMPLY DEFINED...and any pre-imposed definition (of beauty, of success, of anything!)

WILL NOT DEFINE US ANYMORE.



"There is nothing more powerful than a women that recognizes HER BEAUTY"



...its time, to see your own.

Eat. Pray. LOVE.

"....."This is it." I said to my mind., "This is your chance. Show me everything that is causing you sorrow. Let me see all of it. Don't hold anything back." One by one, the thoughts and memories of sadness raised their hands, stood up to identify themselves. I looked at each thought, each unit of sorrow, acknowledged its existence and FELT (without trying to protect myself from it) its horrible pain. And then I would tell that sorrow, "It's OK. I Love you. I accept you. Come into my heart now. It's over." I would actually FEEL sorrow (as if it were a living thing) enter my heart (as if it were an actual room). Then I would say "Next?" and the next bit of grief would surface. I would regard it, experience it, BLESS it, and invite it into my heart, too. I did this with every sorrowful thought I'd ever had- reaching back into years of memories until there was nothing left.

Then I said to my mind, "Show me your anger now." One by one, my life's every incident of anger arose and made itself known. Every injustice, every betrayal, every loss, every rage. I saw them all, one by one, and I acknowledged their existence. I FELT each piece of anger completely, as if it were happening for the first time, and then I would say, "Come into my heart now. You can rest here. It's safe now. It's over. I love you." This went on for hours, and I swung between these mighty poles of opposite feelings-experiencing the anger thoroughly for one bone-rattling moment, then experiencing a total coolness, as the anger entered my heart as if through a door, laid itself down, curled up against its brothers and GAVE UP FIGHTING.

Then came the most difficult part. "Show me your shame," I asked my mind. Dear God the horrors that I saw then. A pitiful parade of all my failures, my lies, my selfishness, jealousy, arrogance. I didn't blink through any of it though. "Show me your worst," I said. When I tried to invite these units of shame into my heart, they each hesitated at the door, saying "No-you don't want ME in there....don't you know what I did?" And I would say, "I DO want you. Even you. I DO. Even you are welcome here. It's OK. You are forgiven. YOU ARE A PART OF ME. You can rest now. It's over."

When this was all over. I was empty. Nothing was fighting in my mind anymore. I looked into my heart, at my own goodness, and SAW ITS CAPACITY. I saw that my heart was not even nearly full, not even after having taken in and tended to all those calamitous urchins of sorrow and anger and shame..............."




MY heart can easily receive and (for)GIVE even more
A lot MORE.
ITS LOVE IS INFINITE.


So why not give it freely?
Fearlessly.
-Without-
Conditions.
Limitations.
Reservation.
Judgment.
{The Need to Control}

(after all....)

Love
TRUE LOVE is not captured.
{But}
truly
FREE